Obituaries: How to Write, Share, and Announce a Loved One’s Passing

Obituaries hold a unique place in how families honor, remember, and share the lives of loved ones who have passed. They provide not just facts but a written legacy, giving family and friends a way to reflect on a life lived and a chance to connect through shared memories.

Writing or sharing an obituary also serves an important practical purpose. It lets a community know about a passing, provides funeral or memorial details, and preserves a record for future generations. For many, reading and writing obituaries is a way to feel connected during grief.

What are obituaries?

At their core, obituaries are written notices that announce a person’s death and highlight important aspects of their life. They typically include identifying details such as a full name, birth and death dates, close family members, and information about funeral arrangements.

An obituary differs from a simple death notice. A death notice is usually brief and factual, while an obituary tends to be more personal, often sharing accomplishments, stories, or qualities that capture the person’s character.

Historically, obituaries were limited to newspaper announcements, but in the modern era, they appear on funeral home websites, digital memorial platforms, and social media. This shift has made them more accessible and shareable for friends and relatives across the globe.

How to Write an Obituary

Many people find themselves asking how to write an obituary during a stressful and emotional time. While the task may feel overwhelming, breaking it into smaller steps can make the process more manageable. An obituary should share the unique story of one’s life. When written with care, it becomes a keepsake for generations to come.

Collecting Essential Details

Start with the factual foundation. An obituary generally begins with the full name of the deceased, their age, place of residence, and the dates of birth and death. Listing family members, both surviving and predeceased, helps paint a fuller picture of their life and connections. This section gives readers clarity and context.

Sharing Life Highlights and Achievements

Beyond the basics, writing an obituary means capturing what made the person unique. Consider their educational background, career path, military service, or community involvement. Did they dedicate their life to teaching, building, creating, or serving? Highlighting these achievements helps others remember the contributions they made to the world.

Adding Personal Stories or Values

Facts alone don’t capture the heart of a person’s story. Include details that showcase their personality, humor, or passions. Maybe they loved to garden, had a signature recipe, or always cheered for their hometown team. Sharing small but meaningful details brings warmth and relatability. Families often find comfort in remembering these quirks and joys.

You can also add:

• Childhood memories that reveal early passions or values.
• Favorite traditions or rituals, such as holiday gatherings or community events they never missed.
• Signature sayings or catchphrases that friends and family will instantly recognize.
• Stories of resilience, like overcoming hardships or challenges with courage.
• Acts of kindness, such as mentoring, volunteering, or everyday ways they supported others.
• Relationships with pets or hobbies that shaped daily life.
• Milestones like anniversaries, moves, or travels that made an impact.

Including these details helps transform an obituary from a simple record into a vivid portrait of a loved one’s life.

Including Funeral or Memorial Service Details

Practical information is an essential part of an obituary. Include the date, time, and location of any services, visitations, or memorials. If the family requests donations in lieu of flowers, list the charity or organization. These details ensure that friends and community members can participate in honoring the person’s life.

Tone, Length, and Style Considerations

When considering how to write an obituary, tone plays an important role. Some families prefer a formal, traditional style, while others want something conversational and lighthearted. The tone should reflect the personality of the deceased and the wishes of the family. Length may depend on publication costs or space limitations in newspapers. Online memorials typically allow longer, more detailed tributes.

Crafting a Strong Opening and Closing

A well-written obituary often starts with a powerful opening line. This can be simple, like “Mary Johnson, beloved mother and friend, passed away peacefully at age 84”, or it can be more expressive, such as “With laughter that lit up every room, Mary Johnson’s presence will be missed after her passing at 84.” The closing may thank caregivers, share a favorite saying, or extend an invitation for readers to honor their memory.

Examples of Writing an Obituary with Compassion

• “John leaves behind a legacy of kindness, always the first to lend a helping hand.”
• “She found joy in the small things—gardening, baking pies, and cheering on her grandchildren.”

These examples show that an obituary can combine dignity with warmth. Compassionate language makes it easier for readers to connect and remember the person with love. To get inspiration and see more examples, check out Ever Loved’s list of 122 Great Obituary Examples.

Balancing Tradition and Creativity

Obituaries don’t need to follow a rigid formula. While traditional formats are standard, many families choose to add creativity, humor, or even quotes directly from the loved one. The most important thing is that the obituary feels true to the person’s life.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing an Obituary

Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to make errors when writing under stress. Common pitfalls include:

• Adding unnecessary or overly personal details that might not serve the family or legacy.
• Forgetting to proofread, which can result in misspellings or factual mistakes.
• Leaving out crucial information such as service details, donation requests, or contact points for condolences.

A careful review by multiple family members or a funeral director can help ensure accuracy.

How to Announce a Death

Families often wonder how to announce a death in the most appropriate way. Traditional methods include publishing in newspapers, church bulletins, or community boards. These outlets often reach local friends and acquaintances.

Modern communication expands those options. Families now commonly use email, text messages, or group messaging apps to quickly notify relatives and close friends. The key is to balance timeliness with compassion, ensuring people hear the news respectfully.

A sample message might be: “We are deeply saddened to share that Margaret Ann passed away peacefully on Tuesday. A memorial service will be held this Saturday at St. Mary’s Church. All who knew her are welcome to attend.”

Announcing a Death on Social Media

Social platforms are now part of daily life, and many families use them to share the news. Announcing a death online allows information to reach a wide circle quickly, but it should be done thoughtfully and with care for both tone and timing.

When and Why Families Choose Socials

Some families prefer to make the announcement themselves on social media to ensure accuracy and avoid misinformation. Others use it as a way to include distant relatives, classmates, colleagues, or friends who may not be reached through traditional methods. Social media also allows for a collective space where people can share stories, photos, and messages of support, helping the grieving family feel surrounded by community.

Privacy and Timing Considerations

Before posting publicly, it’s important to confirm that all immediate family members have been informed privately. Finding out about a loved one’s death from a Facebook post or tweet can feel impersonal and even shocking. Families may also consider whether the announcement should be public, visible to friends only, or shared within a closed group. Adjusting privacy settings allows families to control who sees and interacts with the announcement.

Timing also matters. A post made too soon can unintentionally exclude people who should have been told directly. On the other hand, waiting too long may cause rumors or confusion. Striking a balance ensures that the message reaches people respectfully but efficiently.

Tone and Sensitivity in Writing

The language of an online death announcement should balance clarity with compassion. Short, heartfelt messages often work best. Avoid overly casual phrasing, but don’t feel pressured to be overly formal if it doesn’t reflect the loved one’s personality. Families sometimes include a favorite saying or gentle tribute to make the message feel more personal.

Platform Differences

• Facebook: The most common platform for announcements. Posts can include service details, photos, and a space for comments. Families may also create a memorial page where people can share memories over time.
• Instagram: Often used to share a favorite picture along with a short tribute. The visual nature of the platform helps highlight personal moments.
• Twitter (X): Better for brief updates or sharing a link to a longer obituary.
• LinkedIn: Sometimes appropriate when the deceased had strong professional ties and colleagues may wish to offer condolences.

Announcing a Death on Facebook Examples

• “It is with heavy hearts that we share the passing of our beloved father, James. He touched so many lives, and we invite you to honor his memory at his service this Friday.”
• “Our dear friend Anna has left us too soon. We are gathering at her favorite park this Sunday at 2 p.m. to celebrate her life.”
• “With sadness, we announce the passing of Maria Lopez. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to the local animal shelter, a cause she cared deeply about.”

These announcing a death on Facebook examples balance emotion with practical information. They acknowledge grief while providing clear details for anyone who wishes to support the family or attend a service. You can find templates or further examples here.

Balancing Personal and Public Messaging

Families should discuss how much to share publicly. Some prefer simple, factual posts, while others want to celebrate the person’s life more fully online. A hybrid approach is often effective, one post with service details, and another post where friends and family are invited to share their favorite memories. Creating a dedicated memorial page can also provide an ongoing digital space for remembrance without overwhelming a personal profile.

Balancing Personal and Public Messaging

Consider whether the post should be public or limited to friends. Some families choose to create a dedicated memorial page where people can leave messages, photos, or memories.

Where to Publish Obituaries

The choice of where to publish depends on who you want to reach:

• Local newspapers remain a trusted option, particularly for reaching older generations.
• Funeral home websites often host obituaries at no cost and allow online guest books.
• Online memorial platforms provide interactive features, such as photo galleries or tribute walls.
• Social media makes sharing immediate and accessible, especially for large or far-flung families.

Support for Families Writing Obituaries

Grieving families may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of writing an obituary. Funeral directors often provide templates or editing help. Online platforms also offer guides and pre-filled forms to ease the process.

Emotional support is equally important. Writing about a loved one’s life can bring up grief, but it can also offer moments of healing and reflection. Some families choose to collaborate, with each member contributing a memory or phrase.

Tools like Caily can help families stay organized, managing documents, announcements, and memorial planning in one place. This ensures that important details are not overlooked while giving families space to focus on supporting each other.

Frequently Asked Questions About Obituaries

What should not be included in an obituary?

Personal information such as home addresses, sensitive financial details, or overly private family conflicts should never be included. Sharing too much can invite unwanted contact or even identity theft.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary in a newspaper?

Costs vary widely depending on the publication and length. A short listing may cost around $100–$200, while longer, detailed obituaries can range from $500 to $1,000 in larger newspapers.

Can you write your own obituary in advance?

Yes. Some people choose to draft their own obituary as part of end-of-life planning. Doing so ensures their story is told in their own words and can relieve the burden from family members.

What is the difference between a death notice and an obituary?

A death notice is brief, usually including just the name, age, and funeral details. An obituary is more detailed, often including personal stories, achievements, and the legacy of the individual.

Should an obituary always include cause of death?

No. Including the cause of death is optional. Some families choose to share it openly, while others prefer privacy. It depends on what feels right for the family and how the loved one would have wished to be remembered.